honestly, what does it matter.
ppl only will see the outside appearance,
only God sees the inner appearance.
i wanna cry oso cannot
i wan do this oso canot
because it will giv ppl a wrg impresion.
i cant be who i want to be because its different.
i cant be different, can i?

do i dare to?
im so sick conforming to a worldly image...
an image of just following tradition, following culture..
and yet if i dont follow i will be considered an outcast.
what is going on in my mind.
why do i feel this way
i feel so damn bu shuang wit them..
dey alwiz leave me out,
i ask what time dey meeting go my house for xmas party
oso dey don bother telling me
den when i reach home late? its my fault.
kao bei lah.
whatever i do cant compare right?
i want to love, and i want to feel loved, but..
i cant seem to do anything right.
i wana cry oso canot, i wanna scream oso cannot.
the only thing i can do is rant to this fucking blog and hope no1 sees
because im really in a damn bad mood now.
guess im just gonna have to put up a fake front
a smiling, happy
overjoyed
over excited
...
who will see what remorse, what regret im feeling in side anyway.
Huh?
..
who cares.
i feel like taking a dagger and stabbing their hearts, watch the blood slowly flow out from the wounds. so sadistic. i hate the fakeness of it all lah. that every1 is just being some1 their not to please every1 else. what the fuck man. be yourself, is that so hard... kao lah... why did they have to use my house..it put me in a fucking bad mood
if it were some1 elses, i wont care
i will divide and conquer
haha
yeah right
...
but
what the hell lah.
in the end,
i'll be left
doing everything alone
right?
yeah.
i cant feel alone anywhere
..
oh man...
jiu ming.....
i hate this feeling..

i dont feel like helping any1 do anything.
i just wanna sit somewhere and emo by myself
again.
siansiansian
feel so waliao kao bei.
fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck lalala
lalalalalalala
lalalalallalalallalala
fuck this house hold
fuck this life
fusk this relationsthip
fuck everything.
i just hate things alwiz being like this.
why .
idk
i dont feel like ranting to ppl
i dont feel like seeing ppl
i see their face like bu shuang liek tat
i know
its my fault
im starting to not care anymore.
IM ALWAYS GETTING IGNORED!
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WIT THAT!...
...
yeah
its my fault.
isnt alwiz my fault.