feel so fucked up.
ok i dont.
haha
ok i do.
haiz..

went out wit nila and leah.
walao
dey are short lah can..
i got a shock
i was like
wah
giant
compared to dem
at least
7 cm taller
=.=
haiyoh.
so jialat.
haiz..
i dont wanna be too tall oso...
eiyur...

anyway, dey went to an antique shop, and it was stone boring. i wanna stone dere oso canot. because of some misunderstanding, leah didnt talk to me for 2 years. and she was angry at me for something i did NOT do. and the thing now is, nila expects me to engage in conversation with her. nila said dat leah wants to talk to me again. wow. im supposed to do dat just because im older? what if i dont want to? yes, so its immature, so its whatever, but hey, SHES IN THE WRONG. i didnt do anything wrong dat time, she deceided to believe whatever she wants to.. haiz. i cant be myself in front of dem. stupid idiots. haiz... so irritating lah. yes, i appreciate the fact dat nila wants us to be closer together, but what if i like the distance im keeping now? ... so im childish. i dont care le. its so irritating. seems like everything i do there is wrong. what do they think my intentions are? why should i be the 1 to engage in the conversation when she is the 1 who destroyed the relationship we had in the 1st place.... why should i be in the wrong, why should i be ignored, by both of them. stupid.

i cannot take it! so hypocritical. so chim, so complicated. why cant it just be a simple family, with simple LOVE for the sake of LOVE, and not LOVE because deres a bargain. well.. haiz.. some ppl.. i just cant stand.. in this case, its my own family.. how the hell am i related to them, i dont konw..

ok lah. i'll stop complaining. maybe in some ways, shes a blessing in disguise.

k... i'll stop posting abt the bad thing.
nw the good thing!

z2h CHRISTMAS PARTYYYY FREE PIZZAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha
the whole band was there.
its the 1st time every1 met together
thank God, dey got along pretty well.
despite dey making fun of some things lah.
dat were sorry, but UNTRUE!
was fun, overall.
dey were making fun of the fact dat i was so quiet on the 1st time and so noisy now.. haha
takes time to get used to the situation..
dont tell me the 1st time you step into your new class, you start mixing with a clique?
you dont know anybody there!
yeah.

k lah
i dont know what to post.
writing my feelings out, actually is helping me solve some of my problems.. dont know why lah.
its funny. because i hate writing out what i feel, in fear of some1 coming and reading it.
alwiz happens,
guess if i cant trust any1 to help me, i'll have to help myself.
haiz
zzz
i feel like eating more pizza...
zzz