ironic.
theres a chinese church cgm downstairs opposite my block,
and here i am shutting them out.
i give up.
its just a matter of time..
i alwiz said sooner is better den later, but..
how to sooner
haiz.
11 days..
of torture
and it'll all end
..
i hope.

haha. see my blog? "when i grow up, i wanna be a terrorist"
i dont even think i'll live to grow up. i told myself in sec 2 dat i'd probably end my life before im in sec 4. cannot take it. what is it i cant take? idk. stubbornness.

i cant just sit here and be touched. theres a rock layer around my heart dat NOTHING can penetrate anymore. thing is, im crying now. really, crying. i dono why, but.. yeah. i hate the world. i hate myself. i HATE EVERYTHING....
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im just a mistake creation.
maybe the maker didnt want me, so he put me here, knowing i'd die.
...
okay then.