i feel so betrayed..
like every post i type is just rantings... i dont understand!!!
if the world is like this, and its nt gonna change, isnt death easier?
its running away, isnt it? others wld just keep fiting.. what if i dont want to..
am i crapping?

haiz.. i wanna die manz.
fear?
idk.. i've always known.. haiz..
i just feel so alone.. apparently i depend on people.. now that no1.. hhhahas.. i feel more alone then ever.. well. if i could choose a day to die, it would be 14 march :) you'd know why..

keke..
yet i dont even dare to take my life.. ... how cowardly can i get manz. its so pathetic its embarassing.... i think and look down, a mere 10 storeys, and im afraid.. i look down 22 storeys, .. 40? ... if i jump.. it'll be forty... the only way i can think of to overcome dat fear is get drunk.. haha. sit there and drink till im drunk. den fall off. :) den i wouldnt even realise it... i'd be dead :) ....hmn. hope some1s there wit me.. or else.. well.. haha. im dat pathetic.. i dont even dare to die alone.. ..
hahahas.
wonder if i'll come back to life.. as a sprit? who knows. right now, i feel so.. haiz... i cant describe... i want to cry.. yet i dare not let any1 close enough to comfort me.. before i die.. i wanna kill some assholes.. hmmmn... day dreaming..*

guess just borrow chopper or sth.. hide somewhere.. throw at dem.. watch their blood flow... hahahahahas. i'll luff ..... like a manic or sth! :P ... i hope i die. :)



haiz.. whats the point of saying things i can never do? ... im too cowardly.. who knows.. maybe one day i'll dare to.... haha. i'll get to hurt people for the times they've hurt me... but whats the point.. im the one dat gets hurt the most.. like hello, my brains and blood will like spill everywhere.. i wonder what it'll look like when some1 commits suicide by jumping down.. hmmn... hahahas. some bloody mess! :P :P :P KEKEKEKE

.........
haiz......
self entertainment.....
yet.. its gonna be all my fault , isnt it..hahahas. as usual. i can never do anything right. maybe dat was why i was put on this earth. to die .. isnt every1? .... i mean, how to live w/o any purposes.. its just following routine.. and now im alone, its... its scary.. i have to face EVERYTHING alone... hahahas..


................
i wanna kill people...................................................
maybe my heart is black..
who knows..