i dont wanna go on because i cannot see where im going, and i dont wanna run blind..

thats what i told my drum cher.. well.
i see no more purpose in my life. its so routine. i try and make it interesting, and.. well. :)right now, im facing one of the worst days in my LIFE. so bad dat i dont wanna go back to it. well. what to do. wtf to do. im lonely. im like dat. im self centered..

another thing i said to my cher is dat, i only see 2 reasons to live..
1. i wanna one day want to love unconditionally and feel loved in return.. friendships, relationships..
2. i have to support my ma nxt time... she v. poor thing 1
...
i feel like dying. i did try... i just.. cannot do it.. i cannot fight this fight, i cannot finish this race..

ppl will mock at me, saying of course you cant finish since you said you cant..
well. is that true? idk. maybe.. im making an effort. its nt big, but its a start.. im sorry that my effort isnt a big one, but its gonna gradually get bigger so long i dont get depressed again.. everytime i sink into depression its like my life is ... haiz
miserable..
im feeling alone in this world.
haiz..