i made alot of mistakes. who knows how long it will take to undo? yeah.
i dont know what i did. i dont know Why. i dont know whats going on...
but.. haiz.. i just dont want to trouble me or any1 else anymore, about this.
so im gonna put everything on hold, for nw. its the end. finale.
i dont want to be a burden. so im really sorry. but.. im me :) ... and..
i dont want to.. yeah.. i dont want anymore problems abt this. because its really killing everything.
its like hell.
and hell is really... hellish. so...
haiz.. Yes. No More.
anyway, haiz.. i just.. oh well.. i cant keep running away.. where does running away bring me? i wont be a coward. i'll try my hardest not to. i'll face my problems head on. or try to at least. i wont pretend it never happened, because it did. and i cant blame anyone but myself. its my fault. i will take the blame.
yes. sometimes being too nice, and trying to please everyone in the end, hurts you ALOT. ive learned that the hard way. im not trying to brag or anything, alright? if you dont like what im saying now, please just go to some other website. no one is forcing you to read this post.
but, really. how can one person please every1? it cant be done. you please some1, some1 else is unhappy. even God cannot please everyone. i mean, if some1 prays for rain, the other for sunshine? what will he do? make it rain on that certain patch, and sun on another patch? It does not work that way.
Loving someone (NOT intimate love) is really hard. because when you love them.. you want to please them.. and.. well. love ppl, and loving every1, you want to please every1?! ... it will kill you. so.. i suppose.. just do the right thing. like that movie, Letters from IwoJima, there is this quote, "Do what is right, because it is right." so i learn now. i cannot please every1. if the person does not want to help himself../herself, there is nothing i can do! i will try my hardest. but .. know when to stop. because you go any further it will start to hurt you, and as much as you care for that him or her.. its not good. you go too far, things will get ugly. STOP.
alright. i dont want to post abt this liao. becoming emo! ...
ok stop stop stop...
ok!
different topic!
HOW WAS MY DAY??????
okay.
headachey.
because, i woke up at 8.45, stayed in bed till 9, when vivian aclled me and said that dey were meeting at 9.30 at tiong. i cant believe that they told me with 30 mins time to go bathe and everything. enough time meh? walao. so pissed off then. anyway, after that met them at boonlay, because i din have enough time. so.. yeah! i emoed on the train there.. hear music.. blah.. so. .met them at mac, at jurong point. den we ate.. Kokseng treated me to icecream :) if youre reading this, Thanks! :D yeah.. den we walked to eh.. bus. took 242. surprisingly, we had seats. i felt unwell during bus ride.. donno why oso.. whats even worse is that in the church building, i got Really Pissed OFF!!! ... and idk why oso. so that sucked. anyway, when church was abt to start, everything was ok liao :) Praised, and Worshipped .. didnt really feel anything, was so distracted. grr...anyway, the word really spoke to me.
its about:
Confidence.
with God, you can be confident, and you can please him.
and, haha.. these are the points that affected me alot:
-Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
-Without faith, withoug confidence, its impossible to please the Lord.
CONFIDENCE WITH GOD:
1. NO feeling of INFERIORITY
2. NO SENSE OF INADEQUECY
3. NO FEAR OR APPREHENSION OF WHAT GOD WANTS US TO DO.
-Fear makes it easy to blame others.
yeah. so i learned these :) i cant blame others for what happens to me, because ultimately, ppl can influence me. only Influence. i am the one who decides what to do, decide to oblige to their influence. i AM who i decide to be. i can be anything i want to! With God, all things are possible.
remember that, its not "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE" .. there is a catch, "WITH GOD"so without him, you have no assurance that things will be ok.
i have proof on this!
1. WITH GOD, i got to change schs, from mgs to stc. which is something i desperately wanted.
2. WITH GOD, i got a second chance to retake my exams, something that never happened before in my sch.
3.WITH GOD, i got promoted to sec 3 express
so many miracles, that i could not have done by myself. the Biggest miracle is that i got a second chance, because i failed. i slacked. and its really the 1st time it ever happened in STC. i fasted during my exam period. i got laughed at. dere were ppl that told me not to. but i went on, and God blessed me. He can do it for you. friends, if youre reading this, Have Faith, for what you want. because matthew 6:33, "seek first the Kingdom of God, above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." this is a GREAT VERSE!!! hahahs Amen.
yes, friends, and Live your life to the Fullest! because, you never know when God will take you back. so dont procrastinate!
i mean, like m1, 1 life, live it.
surely you dont want to, when you die, go up to heaven, and have nothing to say for all youre time on earth? i mean, what will it be like. God reads youre resume, and its empty. how will you face any1? you will you face yourself. dont be a taker, be a giver. this applies to me as well. im a taker. i have written donno how many times on this blog, that i want to be a blessing. and i DO! but sometimes its so hard. today, i talked to God during fellowship, about this. i told him, i felt useless. i felt.. that i have Said that i wanted to be a blessing, and never actually carried it out. i have never Done anything to help. ive been in church for 2 years and what do i have to show for it? nth.
Thank God for jiaying. she comforted me. she went the extra mile to talk to me, about it. she said, my weakness is.. k, i wont post it. but, she told me what it is. and i couldnt agree more. i really Didnt know! hahas... shes a Role model, to me. she is always going the extra mile, for every1! although she has exams, she still comes for service.. .fellowship.. and whats amazing, she lives in YISHUN, and cg is usually at my hse, which is at Queenstown! HELLO?! FAR!!! that is really awesome. she is always one of the 1st to arrive. sometimes, she really is the first. its so far for her. she can always say.. aiya.. far lah.. i tired, some more, exams now.. stay home study lah ... dont go cg lah.. BUT SHE DOSENT! she does not do what the flesh tells her to do! she still comes on time, never late. never using excuses. its really awesome. She is Really, a Great person. Jiayou, Jiaying.
we celebrated her birthday today :)
oh ya, i forgot the most impt thing.
ITS THE 1ST SERVICE AT JURONG WEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
so we celebrated her bdae on the rooftop, where the new frenz were getting donuts :)
it was really nice. felt really homely.CHC rocks. :)
i cant think of anything else to post. im just really distracted lately... time to rant.
i ...haiz.. i cant accept myself sometimes. and that sucks. because.. well.. k lar.haiz.. i cant say anything here. i cant do anything. i will drift away. i will do what my cgl says. i will do what i think is right. even if it means not being myself. because i will have to learn, that i really Cannot please every1. and.. now i know that. so i wont. i wont bother trying. not anymore. i will help who i can. i will not help some1 until makes me so uneasy, makes me think i am in something that im not in. i will not confuse my feelings with the truth. i know what the difference is now. and i cannot run away. so i have to face this head on, and let God handle the results. God is always faithful, he will never let me down. and, no matter what, God will listen. GOD will never forsake me. i dont ever want to backslide anymore. i will never do anything, or do anything with any1 that will make me backslide. i REALLY HATE THAT PERIOD OF TIME. its etched in my memory, and if you knew how bad it was, you will understand why im so scared of backsliding. i dont ever want to be seperated from God anymore. i want to do his will.
oh ya,
everytime i talk to God, i feel this verse. "Jesus, you know i love you" one of the diciples says this,
and Jesus replies," If you Love me, Feed my sheep. Tend my lambs."
so i feel that
im supposed to feed his sheep and tend his lambs too, Because i Love Jesus.
i Will try to be accountable. i know i did wrong. i know. im sorry. i'll do my best to make up for it. i dont know how i can. but i'll try.
With God, all things are possible.
one day..
i hope i can share my testimony.. and
share with so many people, how Jesus changed my life.. how he touched me, how he saved me. twice, because i backslided once. i cannot wait for that day.
Jesus. i love you.
i dont know what i did. i dont know Why. i dont know whats going on...
but.. haiz.. i just dont want to trouble me or any1 else anymore, about this.
so im gonna put everything on hold, for nw. its the end. finale.
i dont want to be a burden. so im really sorry. but.. im me :) ... and..
i dont want to.. yeah.. i dont want anymore problems abt this. because its really killing everything.
its like hell.
and hell is really... hellish. so...
haiz.. Yes. No More.
anyway, haiz.. i just.. oh well.. i cant keep running away.. where does running away bring me? i wont be a coward. i'll try my hardest not to. i'll face my problems head on. or try to at least. i wont pretend it never happened, because it did. and i cant blame anyone but myself. its my fault. i will take the blame.
yes. sometimes being too nice, and trying to please everyone in the end, hurts you ALOT. ive learned that the hard way. im not trying to brag or anything, alright? if you dont like what im saying now, please just go to some other website. no one is forcing you to read this post.
but, really. how can one person please every1? it cant be done. you please some1, some1 else is unhappy. even God cannot please everyone. i mean, if some1 prays for rain, the other for sunshine? what will he do? make it rain on that certain patch, and sun on another patch? It does not work that way.
Loving someone (NOT intimate love) is really hard. because when you love them.. you want to please them.. and.. well. love ppl, and loving every1, you want to please every1?! ... it will kill you. so.. i suppose.. just do the right thing. like that movie, Letters from IwoJima, there is this quote, "Do what is right, because it is right." so i learn now. i cannot please every1. if the person does not want to help himself../herself, there is nothing i can do! i will try my hardest. but .. know when to stop. because you go any further it will start to hurt you, and as much as you care for that him or her.. its not good. you go too far, things will get ugly. STOP.
alright. i dont want to post abt this liao. becoming emo! ...
ok stop stop stop...
ok!
different topic!
HOW WAS MY DAY??????
okay.
headachey.
because, i woke up at 8.45, stayed in bed till 9, when vivian aclled me and said that dey were meeting at 9.30 at tiong. i cant believe that they told me with 30 mins time to go bathe and everything. enough time meh? walao. so pissed off then. anyway, after that met them at boonlay, because i din have enough time. so.. yeah! i emoed on the train there.. hear music.. blah.. so. .met them at mac, at jurong point. den we ate.. Kokseng treated me to icecream :) if youre reading this, Thanks! :D yeah.. den we walked to eh.. bus. took 242. surprisingly, we had seats. i felt unwell during bus ride.. donno why oso.. whats even worse is that in the church building, i got Really Pissed OFF!!! ... and idk why oso. so that sucked. anyway, when church was abt to start, everything was ok liao :) Praised, and Worshipped .. didnt really feel anything, was so distracted. grr...anyway, the word really spoke to me.
its about:
Confidence.
with God, you can be confident, and you can please him.
and, haha.. these are the points that affected me alot:
-Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
-Without faith, withoug confidence, its impossible to please the Lord.
CONFIDENCE WITH GOD:
1. NO feeling of INFERIORITY
2. NO SENSE OF INADEQUECY
3. NO FEAR OR APPREHENSION OF WHAT GOD WANTS US TO DO.
-Fear makes it easy to blame others.
yeah. so i learned these :) i cant blame others for what happens to me, because ultimately, ppl can influence me. only Influence. i am the one who decides what to do, decide to oblige to their influence. i AM who i decide to be. i can be anything i want to! With God, all things are possible.
remember that, its not "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE" .. there is a catch, "WITH GOD"so without him, you have no assurance that things will be ok.
i have proof on this!
1. WITH GOD, i got to change schs, from mgs to stc. which is something i desperately wanted.
2. WITH GOD, i got a second chance to retake my exams, something that never happened before in my sch.
3.WITH GOD, i got promoted to sec 3 express
so many miracles, that i could not have done by myself. the Biggest miracle is that i got a second chance, because i failed. i slacked. and its really the 1st time it ever happened in STC. i fasted during my exam period. i got laughed at. dere were ppl that told me not to. but i went on, and God blessed me. He can do it for you. friends, if youre reading this, Have Faith, for what you want. because matthew 6:33, "seek first the Kingdom of God, above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." this is a GREAT VERSE!!! hahahs Amen.
yes, friends, and Live your life to the Fullest! because, you never know when God will take you back. so dont procrastinate!
i mean, like m1, 1 life, live it.
surely you dont want to, when you die, go up to heaven, and have nothing to say for all youre time on earth? i mean, what will it be like. God reads youre resume, and its empty. how will you face any1? you will you face yourself. dont be a taker, be a giver. this applies to me as well. im a taker. i have written donno how many times on this blog, that i want to be a blessing. and i DO! but sometimes its so hard. today, i talked to God during fellowship, about this. i told him, i felt useless. i felt.. that i have Said that i wanted to be a blessing, and never actually carried it out. i have never Done anything to help. ive been in church for 2 years and what do i have to show for it? nth.
Thank God for jiaying. she comforted me. she went the extra mile to talk to me, about it. she said, my weakness is.. k, i wont post it. but, she told me what it is. and i couldnt agree more. i really Didnt know! hahas... shes a Role model, to me. she is always going the extra mile, for every1! although she has exams, she still comes for service.. .fellowship.. and whats amazing, she lives in YISHUN, and cg is usually at my hse, which is at Queenstown! HELLO?! FAR!!! that is really awesome. she is always one of the 1st to arrive. sometimes, she really is the first. its so far for her. she can always say.. aiya.. far lah.. i tired, some more, exams now.. stay home study lah ... dont go cg lah.. BUT SHE DOSENT! she does not do what the flesh tells her to do! she still comes on time, never late. never using excuses. its really awesome. She is Really, a Great person. Jiayou, Jiaying.
we celebrated her birthday today :)
oh ya, i forgot the most impt thing.
ITS THE 1ST SERVICE AT JURONG WEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
so we celebrated her bdae on the rooftop, where the new frenz were getting donuts :)
it was really nice. felt really homely.CHC rocks. :)
i cant think of anything else to post. im just really distracted lately... time to rant.
i ...haiz.. i cant accept myself sometimes. and that sucks. because.. well.. k lar.haiz.. i cant say anything here. i cant do anything. i will drift away. i will do what my cgl says. i will do what i think is right. even if it means not being myself. because i will have to learn, that i really Cannot please every1. and.. now i know that. so i wont. i wont bother trying. not anymore. i will help who i can. i will not help some1 until makes me so uneasy, makes me think i am in something that im not in. i will not confuse my feelings with the truth. i know what the difference is now. and i cannot run away. so i have to face this head on, and let God handle the results. God is always faithful, he will never let me down. and, no matter what, God will listen. GOD will never forsake me. i dont ever want to backslide anymore. i will never do anything, or do anything with any1 that will make me backslide. i REALLY HATE THAT PERIOD OF TIME. its etched in my memory, and if you knew how bad it was, you will understand why im so scared of backsliding. i dont ever want to be seperated from God anymore. i want to do his will.
oh ya,
everytime i talk to God, i feel this verse. "Jesus, you know i love you" one of the diciples says this,
and Jesus replies," If you Love me, Feed my sheep. Tend my lambs."
so i feel that
im supposed to feed his sheep and tend his lambs too, Because i Love Jesus.
i Will try to be accountable. i know i did wrong. i know. im sorry. i'll do my best to make up for it. i dont know how i can. but i'll try.
With God, all things are possible.
one day..
i hope i can share my testimony.. and
share with so many people, how Jesus changed my life.. how he touched me, how he saved me. twice, because i backslided once. i cannot wait for that day.
Jesus. i love you.
posted by :] @ 9:58 PM
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