what the heck man,
my spritual life is never gonna go further than this level
if i keep going on in this zig zag pattern...
i mean.. well, everytime im on the verge of having a spritual breakthrough,
it seems that the devil comes and tackels me.. with
situations, people...
feelings... hatred, resentment..
... yea...

and i cannot go on like this
i feel alone again.
i dont wanna go on!
...

how..