well..
today was a great day..
i got in house suspension.
but.. well.. thank God it wasnt that bad.
i discovered something, while spending like.. 8- 2 in the library doing nth..
ok, i slept for 35 mins, studied for 2 hours 20 mins, and spent the rest in the canteen or drawing. no1 was there to talk to. oh ya.when the librarian went for lunch, i told her that i wanted to stay in the library, so she locked me in. apparently, ppl tot the librarian din know i was inside.. den dey go call the dm come lor. i kana scolding... dey oso.. haiz. feel so bad..

oh well.
im so sick of always being forgotten. im so sick of never being able to even compare.. i mean.. well.. in my life, if i named the people i trust, i dont even need two hands , 10 fingers, to count. 1 hand oso too much.

well.
i just lately feel really miserable.
who cares, huh.
people will scold me for being serious.
i am, come on. i AM.
its the way i am, what you wan me to do about it. loossen up?
... its not like im not trying to. helllo.
...
well..

today i got to find out something dat made me happy.
im not the only one who felt that way abt yeah.
...

but who am i to judge.
im not perfect, far from it. yet when i see it i cant stand it.. i wil feel like stabbing.. i will wanna hantam.

i have to live my promises, to forget the challenge. forget everything. just remember, I AM who i AM, i dont need anyone to come and kachaio my faith. its hard enough keeping my faith strong.

yet no1 cares how i feel...
who can i count on. who can i put all my faith on... i feel so bad, throwing everything to God.. its like.. he isnt my rubbish dump for my negative emotions... i mean.. i love him.. but.. i dont wanna.. haiz.. i dono lah.. i dono why i follow this religion.. i just dont let anything question my faith.. i just want to do his will.. but thing is, IM NOT!. .........


and this time, it matters..
i have to..
i want to..
Lord.. you are my strength when i am weak.
lead me not into temptation, but deliever me from evil...