hey,
come to think of it,
poetry is so much like maths..
the poet factorizes/summarizes all the things he/she wants to bring across in a single stanza, and in exams we have to expand it out to get the real meaning...just like (a+b)(a+b)... have to expand everything inside -.- d o t s . . .
ok... time to rant :X
... people find me immature. VERY VERY immature. always tell me act my age... well, i delibrately try to be high all the time... well, my personality is the 2 extremes, high, and low. practically nothing in between... when im high, i can laugh at almost literally anything all the time.., when im low, i become a loner... and the mood swings that i always feel... makes me like...well, i can cry in 5 mins, and 10 mins later laugh non stop... well... haiz... i wish theres some1 that i can just rant to everything... instead of typing it out on a blog... haiz... feel so lost...
haiz haiz haiz!!! tmr gotta go ramona house at like..8 am do dnt project... i dont actually mind, but i dont wanna stay in the same place wit ...well, lets just say im starting to CANOT stand alot of people...im scared i just yell out everything at them... im not the only one thats changed... its so unfair... but then, who ever said life is fair. recently, in my mind, i've been debating this topic of whether should i take my own life... well, i cant, because the people that care about me, no matter how few it seems there are, will be sad, and like beeleng said before, it is selfish to commit suicide... but i really see NO point in carrying on sometimes... when i try see a purpose, all i see is another big pack of lies... idk y is it so hard 4 me to trust any1... i wish right now some1 will come to me face to face and giv me a BIG lecture.... feel so hopeless... i wanna relive my childhood, but i cant... because i will be alone if i do... every1 moved on, and im still stuck here... no where to go, no place to run... i thought that going down for the altercall and accepting jesus again will change all these feelings...and it did!... but only for like... what? 2 , 3 days? i tried to pray, i tried to read the bible, i tried to find peace.... why issit like im alwayz alone... no matter what i do im alone... i wanna cry in god's arms, feeling his presence holding me up, holding me close... but i just feel so alone... i dont feel that security... im so sick of living in a big lie....
i feel like a stubborn sheep that strayed, and am too stubborn and too untrusting to let the shepherd find me...
come to think of it,
poetry is so much like maths..
the poet factorizes/summarizes all the things he/she wants to bring across in a single stanza, and in exams we have to expand it out to get the real meaning...just like (a+b)(a+b)... have to expand everything inside -.- d o t s . . .
ok... time to rant :X
... people find me immature. VERY VERY immature. always tell me act my age... well, i delibrately try to be high all the time... well, my personality is the 2 extremes, high, and low. practically nothing in between... when im high, i can laugh at almost literally anything all the time.., when im low, i become a loner... and the mood swings that i always feel... makes me like...well, i can cry in 5 mins, and 10 mins later laugh non stop... well... haiz... i wish theres some1 that i can just rant to everything... instead of typing it out on a blog... haiz... feel so lost...
haiz haiz haiz!!! tmr gotta go ramona house at like..8 am do dnt project... i dont actually mind, but i dont wanna stay in the same place wit ...well, lets just say im starting to CANOT stand alot of people...im scared i just yell out everything at them... im not the only one thats changed... its so unfair... but then, who ever said life is fair. recently, in my mind, i've been debating this topic of whether should i take my own life... well, i cant, because the people that care about me, no matter how few it seems there are, will be sad, and like beeleng said before, it is selfish to commit suicide... but i really see NO point in carrying on sometimes... when i try see a purpose, all i see is another big pack of lies... idk y is it so hard 4 me to trust any1... i wish right now some1 will come to me face to face and giv me a BIG lecture.... feel so hopeless... i wanna relive my childhood, but i cant... because i will be alone if i do... every1 moved on, and im still stuck here... no where to go, no place to run... i thought that going down for the altercall and accepting jesus again will change all these feelings...and it did!... but only for like... what? 2 , 3 days? i tried to pray, i tried to read the bible, i tried to find peace.... why issit like im alwayz alone... no matter what i do im alone... i wanna cry in god's arms, feeling his presence holding me up, holding me close... but i just feel so alone... i dont feel that security... im so sick of living in a big lie....
i feel like a stubborn sheep that strayed, and am too stubborn and too untrusting to let the shepherd find me...
posted by :] @ 6:39 PM
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